Wednesday, July 05, 2006

A question that's now answered !

Around the same time last year, someone had asked me , "If there was one thing that you could change in your life, what would that be ?" At that time, inspite of 100 things that had gone wrong, I couldn't think of anything, which kind of meant that everything was just almost perfect ! Well today, to answer the same question, I would like to change the way I lived the entire 1 yr, back from today's date. I have learnt so many things from life, probably even more than what I had learnt in all the 23 yrs before that ! Just like a crash course on so many things...At the same time last year, I did not believe in any of these, but now I think they are the hard facts of life. To summarize a few,

1. Never trust anyone completely, not even yourself.
I did believe I could always trust some people, trust myself, my inner voice, my intuitions. But none of this advisable to do.

2. If a person says something, it does not necessarily mean he/she means it, so its better to believe in actions than in words.
I always believed words very so very important. I always believed its more important to say a word to show care, even if a friend actually did not manage to do something that he/she promised.

3. Time and money are the most important things we have in life, think twice before spending them for ANYONE.
I always believed in spending time and money for everyone whom I know, that good things done for someone never go unreturned, that going out of way and doing things for people is what is most important and gave me the most satisfaction.

4. Miracles never happen !!
This is the greatest paradox, at a point of time you may feel that something is going so much the way you wanted it to go, without you taking much efforts for it. This is exactly when you start believing in miracles, but after a while you will realise that it was all nonsense, and miracles are never meant to happen..

5. Just like you love and care for many people, it helps to hate some people too.
Till today I was never able to hate anyone, whatever they had done to me for whatever reasons. Though I did not believe in the word "SORRY", I still had no hard feelings against anyone. But I think, everyone cannot be liked, and those who cannot be, should be disliked.

6. Everything in life, without any exceptions, is a function of NEED.
No one does anything unless he/she has his/her own purpose behind it. I always believed there existed people who did things selflessly, without any hidden intentions. Fortunately or unfortunately I still have some people around me who prove this one wrong, but I think 99 percent of the time its true.

7. The extent to which someone can hurt you depends entirely on you.
I always thought life should be an open book, and heart should be like an unshelled coconut. But its more worthwhile to have a shell around it, so as to not make it vulnerable to anyone around you.. This shell should be so strong that only you should have the right to break it.


And the list goes on ! well inspite of the fact that I learnt so many things, had so many bitter and sweet experiences in the past one year.. I think they were too expensive for me to afford, in terms of my time and my self respect, and I am going to have a hard time getting both of these back !!!!

20 Comments:

At Wednesday, July 05, 2006 2:52:00 AM, Blogger Mathya said...

Learning always comes at a cost...

If u really think about it, I doubdt if u have really lost it to get them back... Its just ur perspective which matters...

Cheers to u Minti !! :)

 
At Wednesday, July 05, 2006 12:29:00 PM, Blogger Atul said...

Nice post! I think it's time you changed the blog's name to Meenal's Guide to Life :)

 
At Wednesday, July 05, 2006 4:05:00 PM, Blogger Visiting Nomad said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At Wednesday, July 05, 2006 4:08:00 PM, Blogger Visiting Nomad said...

Not a nice post. I must admit that unfortunately even i have come to the conclusion that lost innocance cannot be regained, but losing a battle is no reason to build walls so high that you find yourself alone. Hope you completely unlearn part of these lessons and partly all of them. In the end know that everything you do you do it for yourself and then ask if you would do it any differently just cause someone can hurt you.

 
At Thursday, July 06, 2006 1:10:00 AM, Blogger Om said...

miracles do happen and its always advisable to believe in the inner voice....

 
At Thursday, July 06, 2006 5:04:00 AM, Blogger Mukta A said...

surprisingly, some of the things that i learnt are:

1) trust: its the most imp factor in life. if u dont trust urself, or anyone else, everything will go wrong!

4) life is all abt miracles... "destiny" is what it is.. some super natural powers consipre to create miracles.

5) Things in life are bound together by more than NEED

funny na... so the question still remains... one yr from now, you will have different answers to LIFE...

have u heard this quote:
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."

 
At Friday, July 07, 2006 5:18:00 AM, Blogger msk said...

Good Q Meen. Like everyone else I have my opinion about 'em and I thought of sharing it. You are free to like it or not.

Trust - Ever thought its not about trusting people. It's about inculcating the so called trust in them(including urself) to behave in certain predictable way...and somebody's behavior is an outcome of so many factors, out of which perhaps your perception and level of acceptance affect it most.

Words - Words by themselves doesn't mean anything. It's all about their interpretation as per your perception. BTW actions also reflect the truth at that moment. There is no gaurantee in life.

Time - I'll vote for time and to follow your heart and intution to spend that. Giving ***without expectation*** is something that you will never repent of or think twice if u believe in that.

Miracle - Miracles do happen all the times. It's just that they don't match with your longing for the moment. Only if you could come above that, you would realize life is nothing but a miracle.

Dislike - Dislike is a function of need. You want something from others, and if they don't provide, you dislike that condition and call 'em bad. It's as simple as that. Think of somebody from whom you don't expect anything, and think if u can dislike him ever.

Need - Everyone is needy. Even the people who prove u wrong do it for themselves ...its just that they operate at a different level...may be they can find an extension of self in doin something for others.

Hurt - Agree about cause of hurt. But about being in shell...i'll say it's a choice between taking risk to explore and experience life and to live safely in cocoon. Learning a bicycle is sure to give u some hurt, and so is any relationship. Point is are you willing to accept it part of your learning and move on.

 
At Friday, July 07, 2006 11:15:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

how can u generalize....these things are so relative. Its really perspective that matters.

 
At Friday, July 07, 2006 12:35:00 PM, Blogger questboy said...

Hey I changed my blog settings so that anonymous users can put comments. So ur request has been granted :) Do keep checking my blog and leaving comments. I love it.

 
At Saturday, July 08, 2006 5:21:00 PM, Blogger Kasturi said...

thats so true!!
It actually reflected my own thoughts which i cud not put in words like what actually i meant...but u made them very clear for me! seriously...i can relate to the list a lot....
Thankss Meenal!

 
At Saturday, July 08, 2006 5:33:00 PM, Blogger Kasturi said...

well, i was reading it again and few thoughts that came across...
if we dont trust ourselves then how do we learn to trust others. well if our mistrust is broken then do we still go ahead and trust others or not...
time and money are important and even more important investment we make in others is emotional investment but if that fails then u loose something much more valuable than money...
yes definitely...actions speak louder than words..they are something that confirms how much one feels about the other person...many a times we do things for so many people without any expectations but does the other person really give a damn about it? and for how long do we just keep doing things?
its definitely better to hate some people than have any feelings... there is no point in feeling any thing about the other person and definitey not at the cost of us getting hurt...
I dont know if it really made sense to u by what i expressed here...just my feelings or thoughtss...

 
At Sunday, July 09, 2006 9:33:00 PM, Blogger teja2001 said...

i do agree with some of the points that you have noted like the one that you need to build a shell around your heart and that miracles never happen, but with most of it, i do not believe that this is just you who is saying this. this is not the girl that i know and believe me, i do know you. i think that this is just a reflection of the past year and not the entire life. there have been quite a few examples in your life which contradict the things that you state as facts now.

all i ask you now, is to look at your life as a whole and not just concentrate on the things that have happened in the past year. think of your family and friends and even of strangers who have gone above and beyond to help you.

there are some really good points made by mukta and msk. listen to youe heart girl, it will never mislead you.

 
At Sunday, July 16, 2006 2:48:00 PM, Blogger Swaroop said...

hey, thanks for the compliment. you are most welcome to visit and also comment on the articles. thanks again :). i will keep checking this blog too.

 
At Monday, July 17, 2006 11:44:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi,
I've been living alone away from my family for almost 5 yrs now. I was surprised and delighted to see how closely all these thoughts of yrs match closly with what I think after all these years. You are a good thinker and have learnt to analyse every incident in life. Not a single moment one goes by is meaningless, there's always something you can learn from these, only if you have a tendency to analyze. Good to see you are catching things early enough.

-Ram

 
At Tuesday, July 18, 2006 12:19:00 PM, Blogger Visiting Nomad said...

And when is your next one coming ?

 
At Thursday, July 20, 2006 8:06:00 PM, Blogger teja2001 said...

I wa sprecisely thinking of the same thing that "visiting nomad" expressed. In the interim, check out my new posts.

 
At Saturday, July 22, 2006 10:00:00 PM, Blogger meshweta said...

hey girl!

just read ur blogging.
I fI would have been actively bloging a yr back beliv me I would have writen something like this.

Its just a phase and will pass on. Learn to deal than to genralise things. One medicine does not apply to all ailments. So is the case with attitudes....

 
At Monday, August 07, 2006 7:46:00 AM, Blogger Tamul said...

1) Never Trust anyone. But yes believe in yourself.
2) Actions speak louder than words. Beware of people who talk SWEET.
3) Time once lost never comes back but money can be made again. So spare a few bucks for your friends and family and let them have a happy time.
4) Miracles are nothing but something you do not know or can imagine. But things do happen. The history of Flying ( Commercial Airplanes )is less than 60 years old. And internet 15 years .The world is a global village now.
To me they are nothing short of miracles.

5) Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Hatred will bring bad health for you, mentally , emotionally and physically.

6) Behind every action there is a need. But as you grow older and wiser you will learn that there are people who are selfless.

7) Cent percent true. If you do not take shit it goes back to the giver.



Tamul

 
At Tuesday, August 15, 2006 11:40:00 AM, Blogger agent amar said...

Meenal,

nicely put thoughts. but don't term these as 'hard facts'...this life thing is a very shrewd customer. it will make you take a 'U' turn on most of these points after 2-3 years...

 
At Friday, March 30, 2007 3:45:00 AM, Blogger Samvad Vahini said...

And if the sky is filled with clouds,
the clouds are water like the river, so
without remorse reflect them too
in the calm deep.
By - Paulo Coelho

 

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